• 1/4 part of me: I want to be cute and delicate and have a petite body.
  • 1/4 part of me: I want to look smokin' hot and sexy in a bikini and have curves and a fuck you attitude
  • 1/4 part of me: I don't even care man I can totally eat all of that cake watch me
  • 1/4 part of me: I want to murder everyone and laugh as i bathe in their blood

averagebare:

i heard a kid say “but DAAAAAD” and his dad said “DID YOU JUST CALL ME BUTT-DAD? YOURE GROUNDED” I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING FOR 3 YEARS

(Source: slayboybunny, via godlymasturbation)

pregers:

waking up and realizing you slept through your alarm

image

(via godlymasturbation)

amyjpond:

some people are winning olympic medals right now and i can’t get out of bed

(via godlymasturbation)